Screwing Osborne more important than screwing the poor, announces IDS

iain_duncan_smith_nightingale_2Iain Duncan Smith has announced that he will defend the poor for as long as it will hinder George Osborne, following his resignation.

“I don’t like George,” said the former Secretary for Work and Pensions. “I am happy to protect the most vulnerable in society in order to prove that.”

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Everything now fine in Syria, claims Putin

syrian_civil_war

Russian President Vladimir Putin has brought peace and harmony to Syria, said a spokesman.

Russia gave the Syrian government forces a tactical advantage by bombing accidentally-on-purpose bombing rebel forces who they claim to be ISIS.

“We absolutely had to stop ISIS,” said a Russian official, “even if they weren’t always near or even vaguely close to many of our targets.”

Suggestions from Europe and America that there might still be some violence ongoing (what with there being ongoing violence) have been decried by the Kremlin as propaganda.