Iain Duncan Smith has announced that he will defend the poor for as long as it will hinder George Osborne, following his resignation.
“I don’t like George,” said the former Secretary for Work and Pensions. “I am happy to protect the most vulnerable in society in order to prove that.”
Russian President Vladimir Putin has brought peace and harmony to Syria, said a spokesman.
Russia gave the Syrian government forces a tactical advantage by bombing accidentally-on-purpose bombing rebel forces who they claim to be ISIS.
“We absolutely had to stop ISIS,” said a Russian official, “even if they weren’t always near or even vaguely close to many of our targets.”
Suggestions from Europe and America that there might still be some violence ongoing (what with there being ongoing violence) have been decried by the Kremlin as propaganda.
Everything anybody says about the European Union is scaremongering, it has been confirmed. No arguments will be made by either side as any comment is scaremongering.
“I’ve been to Paris,” said Alice from Ealing before being immediately crucified by both In and Out campaigners for scaremongering. Literally crucified.